Monday, October 18, 2004
Dont You Hate It When..

Dont you hate it when people think they know u so they say things about u that arent true? dont u hate it when u get kicked while ur down? dont u hate it when nuthin could go ur way? dont u hate it when theres so many people who want to know you but make no effort to be around u or talk to u? dont u hate it when u speak the truth to someone and they hate u for it? dont u hate it when everyone has the answers but u and they would pick dying over telling u just to watch u struggle? dont u hate it when theres too much on ur plate and then theres too little? dont u hate it when u know that other people HAVE to understand how u feel, but not be able to explain it, or afraid of what they think, or of what they will do? dont u hate it when u have to be sumone else to be cool cuz if u were u no one would like u? dont u hate it when u hear the alarm in the morning to get u up for another horrible day? dont u hate it when people make promises they cant keep and when u tell them they wont be able to keep them and they get mad and all u want to do is say told ya so but u cant cuz u need that friend and cant afford to loose them? becuz surely they will go if u contradict them? dont u hate it when u loose touch with a best friend? dont u hate it when u try to talk to that friend but cant becuz ur too scared they dont care or dont want to hear it cuz they dont show they care like they used to? dont u hate it when u know u have a shit load of homework in your room but u are stuck in front of your computer complaining about everything in your blog?
kristi

Posted at 09:15 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, October 17, 2004
Breathe

hey. this week has flown by. mondai and tuesdai went really slow but the rest flew and now its already sundai again. well i stayed at rons last nite and got really really bad.. which was definately a good thing til i couldnt even move my muscles or ne thing. its ok though. i tried to get people to come but no one would. it was me and alot of guys, which is fine, until they start being guys. yup. so i wished i had a friend. i hope this week will go as fast, i really hope i dont have much homework. thats the only thing that has improved at school. u know when i have time and can relax they stop giving me homework yet when i didnt have a spare minute to think im loaded down with it. i guess i cant do n e thing about it now. i turn 16 in less than 2 weeks. i want to have a shindig but i dont know how thats gunna work out becuz theres sumone who thinks they are gunna be a part of it that i really dont want them to have part in. i really dont know who i would ask to come n e ways, i dont really hang out with ne one n emore. i need to get a car soon and hopefuilly dad will provide for me. im gunna go.
kristi

Posted at 03:53 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
200 Things About Me

i stole this from one of my gurlz in oak ridge who has helped me alot in life. i thought this was a great idea and i decided to do it. it may get boring.. sorry. im gunna start how she did cuz i tihnk its the best way. i know sum of u may have read this already but i wanted to put it on here. here goes:

i am me.. one of a kind.. sort of..

i have brown hair.

i play soccer :: for the high school.

i am 5' 3" :: i think.

i suck at basket ball.

i played football with the guys and shoulder pads and everything in 7th grade.

i was in the best shape of my life in 7th grade (when i played football).

i have lived with my friends part of my life.

i am out going :: when i dont take my medicine.

i am a sophmore.

i dont have tonsels.

i wish i didnt have to live through some of the things i did :: and wish i could re-live others.

i lived with 2 cheerleaders for over 6 months :: the rest of the squad was all my best friends.

i have about 3 people i feel comfortable telling everything too.

i love chinese food.

i have a brother :: we are kinda close.

i have a half-sister that lives in arizona.

i wish i had more skills at soccer than i have

i am currently intrested in a guy i cannot see or talk to.

i am scared of people :: i think i hide it well.

i love seeing old friends.

i think inside jokes are the best things in the world :: when everyone else is on the outside.

i suck at making a good first impression.

i wish there was a way to read people's minds.

i would like to study psychology :: but not majorly.

i have ADHD and can control it :: sometimes.

i love going to Cotton Eyed Joe on monday nites with brittani and her family.

i often wonder if people actually care about me, or if they just deal with me becuz im there.

i moved away from my life in the 7th grade :: it was the best and worst year of my life.

i always have sumthin on my mind :: even when i say i dont.

i am still searching for myself.

i am president of the sophmore class of 2007.

i hate it when people point out my faults :: in front of others.

i love it when im right, but accept when i am wrong.

i dont like people to apologize if it isnt thier fault.

i believe there is a God, and He is the only one, and there is only one way to heaven.

i wish i was more attractive than i am.

i dont like to drink cokes.

i wish i could fly to see what

i think the glass is half empty :: not half full.

i dont get to eat out much so when i do i eat as much as i can.

i love to drink water.

i think making memories is one of the most important things in life.

i hate when plans are made and the day before cancelled.

i have been to dollywood twice.

i wish i could afford anything i wanted.

i want to find the one love of my life, but not in school.

i have fractured each wrist twice and cracked the joint in my rite big toe.

i wish i could cut all my hair off with out looking like a guy.

i dont really care too much about animals.

i love all types of music :: except country.

i love to workout with a group of people.

i tend to hold grudges.

i hate when people gossip :: i choose not to believe most of what i hear.

i find it easy to keep secrets.

i dont understand why someone would say sumthing about someone they dont know or never talk to.

i have thought about commiting suicide :: and tried it twice.

i love to read.

i have a habit of bottling up all of my feelings :: i rarely feel anything now.

i have great respect for certian aspects of people i wish i could accomplish or have.

i love to take pictures

i wish i could be closer to my friends :: ecspecially two from powell.

i love it when people value my opinion.

i love candles :: ecspecially the ones that float.

i love to cook.

i hate racism more than anything.

i love aqua teen hunger force.

i travel light :: and usually dont have what i need.

i have never been on a vacation with a friend.

i love north carolina blue.

i strive to be diffrent.

i would rather stay at a friends house than mine.

i was raised to only go if invited.

i have acid-reflux :: it hurts alot.

i am scared to death of fatness.

i have a very complex train of thought.

i love to make people laugh :: even if its at me.

i think there is waaay to much usless junk in the world :: it waste time energy and resources.

i hate having to borrow money.

i think crying shows weakness.

i dont believe in laziness.

i wish my mom would get a life.

i listen to rock and rap all the time.

i dont like ditzy people :: they annoy me.

i wish it could be summer all year long.

i love to see the ocean.

i went to prom my freshman year.

i dont understand people :: i never will.

i wish i could make scrap books to hold memories.

i hate it when people feel sorry for me :: or themselves.

i was in band in the 5th and 6th grade :: clarinet.

i have a bass guitar :: i wish i could play it.

i have only had on long relationship :: 2 months :: 4th - 5th grade summer

i love to go drag racing.

i wish gas prices would go down.

i love to make prank phone calls :: and roll people's houses.

i dont think i could live without some of the people ive met :: most of my friends.

i think education is taken for granted by many high school students.

i loved my 6th grade teacher :: Mrs. Simmons.

i miss channel one news every morning.

i wish i could travel around the world.

i appriciate the people who try to make life better for others.

i dislike watchin tv for hours at a time :: unless a good movie is on.

i love to wear sweat pants and a t-shirt.

i try to eat healthy.

i have been called a loser, a dork, and retarded :: they are all true except one.

i walk very slow and often left behind.

i think graffiti is the most interesting artwork.

i want everything in my room to coordinate :: nuthing does.

i love family dinners :: on my dads side.

i dont believe that one person can change the world :: it takes at least two people.

i dont like to miss school :: much.

i love a challenge.

i have done many things that i regret :: and i regret not doing others.

i dont like to wear soffees.

i want to live near some kind of water :: pool, lake, ocean, river.

i love video games :: shooting ones.

i want to set up a full sized soccer goal in my yard :: if i ever get a yard.

i dont like to take the time to fix my hair.

i will not wear make-up :: unless sumone wants to put it on me.

i think nascar is boring :: unless they wreck.

i love to ride go-karts.

i want to play a virtual reality game.

i wish i could buy a snowboard and go all the time.

i would rather watch tv at a friends house with a friend than by my self at home.

i hate PMSing.

i love making Kayla tell me what colors things are :: shes color-blind.

i wish there were more black people in my school.

i love the movies where a natural cause will destroy everything on the earth.

i get cold very easily.

i care about how i look.

i did not like my home ec. teacher.

i think 50 cent should live life a bit more carefully now.

i get annoyed when people take things i dont have for granted.

i am thankful i didnt grow up in "the hood".

i hate my step-dad and what he did to our family.

i dont like to wear my hair down :: still.

i want to try to play tennis.

i hope i never pull a muscle again.

i wish i had cable internet.

i trust most people :: until they lie to me once.

i like to try to help people with their problems.

i complain alot :: im working on that.

i hate when people whine about things they can change.

i know my dad didnt treat my mom well :: and vice versa.

i dont believe that getting high once will def. ruin ur life :: but it can.

i would rather ride on a bike than a car :: if things werent so far away.

i want to live in a nighborhood where i can play with people my own age.

i would give n e thing to understand the bible fully.

i have the same password for everything.

i love to party :: hard.

i used to steal what i needed.

i used to think sex was a big deal :: in some cases it still is.

i want to wait til im married to have sex.

i love going to russells and waking up to hear "lets go to the rope swing".

i wish me and my dad would get along.

i hope some day fast food will become healthy and serve non-carbonated drinks.

i tend to get jealous easily :: but i wont admit it.

i have been told that all my friends are hott.

i have been told i was hott once :: by one guy.

i want to hang out with xan and sydney again before the summer is over.

i hate parental controls on the internet :: i cant look at my own blog sometimes.

i always tend to think the grade i just completed is so much smaller than the one ill be in.

i am glad that my cousin is like my best friend.

i get stressed out very easily.

i dont want to get a fast car for my first car :: but i do want a stick shift.

i want to have the perfect first kiss.

i try to enjoy everyday of my youth, but things i cant wait for must come quickly.

i have white teeth thanks to 225 dollars of whitening supplies.

i dont want to move in with my dads girlfriend and her son.

i usually plan things for peoeple :: but it comes as no surprise when it doesnt work out.

i love to go to the movie theater to see movies.

i want a motorcycle :: sportsbike.

i love chocolate milk :: my favorite drink.

i cannot sing at all.

i love to stop by peoples houses at random times.

i love having long conversations with people :: about things that matter.

i dont like not knowing whats going on around me.

i would rather talk in person than on the phone or internet.

i love wearing tennis shoes more than any other kind of shoe.

i dont like to shop very much.

i think some people need to be less selfish :: including me.

i need a cell phone more than ever.

i will be 16 in a few more months.

i always save my money and feel bad for spending it.

i usually get a dark tan in the summer :: but not this one.

i dont like to sit around and do nothing.

i dont like to talk about my past :: to any one.

i love mad tv :: stewart is the funniest.

i am scared of indoor bugs.

i like to have attention :: but not all the time.

i get frustrated very easily if things dont go as planned

i dont want to go back to school.

i dont get to do alot with my friends :: they cant ever do n e thing.

i love to street race with my brother and his friends.

i love to ride with ron in his truck and mess with the P.A. system.

i dont like to go to the doctors office for physicals.

i dont set many goals.

i have been to 8 different states.

i want to be like lara croft tomb raider :: if i grow up.

i want to be loved by people who say they do.


Posted at 07:03 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, October 10, 2004
Swimming Thru the Ashes of Another Life

last nite i sat at home and did nuthin at all. not a thing, besides get online and wait by the phone. i was hoping that cody would call. i guess last weekend was when he came in. i really wanted to chill with him but o well.  homecoming was good, alot of people told me i looked soo beautiful, but the only thing that was different about me was that i was in a dress, my hair was up and i had no make-up on, so that was the only difference. n e ways.. the game was all rite.. i was extermely hyper. my cousin came and i didnt bother me as much as i thought it did. i hung out with brittani for sum of it which surprised me cuz she hates me. then i hung out with "rachel"
and had a good ole time being a secret agent. n e ways. later that nite i went to johns friends house with ronand alex.. ron got a new truck. its got alot more room. it doesnt have strobes yet, it doesnt go as fast yet, its an automatic, it doesnt boom yet, and it doesnt have a cd player yet. but thats all i dont like about it. well i had fun that nite. im goin.
kizzle

Posted at 11:08 am by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, October 03, 2004
Goin To the South Side

hey. today is sunday again. last week was sooo stressful..  i really didnt like it at all. the only thing i did like was that thurs we played oak ridge and i got to go to big eds with diane. i wanted alot more people to go but no one did.. that kinda makes me sad cuz i wanted to see everyone. o well i love diane to death and im glad i got to see her. today im going to my church with maddie! isnt that exciting? i want them to see how my church is.. if it wasnt for my history with them and if i didnt like the poeple there i would love it. but she mite think different. russell left and i didnt get to say bye to him becuz i was too busy. which sucks.. becuz he was gunna hook me up with stuff before he left. i hope ill get an email from him soon. its just 28 days til my birthday! im so excited, but i want a bday party and idk if i will be able to have one. i tihnk it would be awesome if i had a surprise partyu like meagan. hahaha that would be awesome. it was so fun last nite. i really liked it. its still a big ? wether im gunna go to tec or not though. everyone wants me to but idk about it. well im gunna get off ttyl
kizzle

Posted at 10:11 am by Kizzle4shizzle
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Saturday, September 25, 2004
Time Goes By So Slowly

whad up. i went to a soccer car wash today.. it was ok i guess. better than sittin at home. lately my head has been hurting terribly, but today it didnt hurt n e more. i hope it never hurts that bad again. it was terrible. last nite i went to the movie nite thing and the movie was good but i didnt have a good time. i had no one to hang out with and joke around and stuff. o well it happens. i want to go to see first daughter tonite but i dont think im gunna be able to get a ride out there. i called diane who i havent talked to in a while so i mite get to do sumthin with her tonite and that would be really cool. i turn 16 sooo soon. i cant wait. to think of me being 15 now i feel like i little kid. like everytime i tell people im 15 i hate it. ive been having trouble with this peticular friend. i have no idea where we stand. its really frustrating but i guess i cant let it get to me. o well. i think i mite like this guy. but idk, becuz he would be the one person that hates everything i do. its like i cant say n e thing funny to him or n e thing. its so weird. what can ya do? i wouldnt know. but im gunna go now. ttyl.
kizzle

Posted at 05:35 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, September 19, 2004
Letting Go of the Things We Love

its sunday again. sorry no update. i was supposed to go to the fair yesterdat but didnt make it home in time. which sucks. but dad said we mite get to go today i highly doubt it. i need sumone to go with me. ahh well, no one would. so im s.o.l. this weekend i got to spend alot of time with russell which really made me sad.. becuz he is leaving tomarrow. i hope he will come by today so i can say bye to him.. but idk he mite he mite not. i really wish that he would go and hurry up and get back. hes really the only person i can trust. ive got my friends yea.. but really.. who trusts their friends with everything. i thought i used to be able to do that but i cant. ill never make n e really good friends again. i hate it. it takes too much effort and too much to worry about, so ive learned my lesson. i mean ill still chill with my friends and everything but im not gunna say n e thing i dont have to and even sumthings i am supposed to say. ha! thatll teach em. andrew wondered y i didnt let n e one in and look at what he did to me. im glad a didnt let loose on him and believe what he said. people dont relize what they say. they think they say it to make things better or they mean to say it for comfort, but they dont actually inted to do or mean what they say. for instance.. if u cant go sumwhere with sumone.. they say maybe next time or we will do sumthin for you with no intentions of it at all. or they will say i love you.. with out thinkin on what they say, and think they it means nuthin at all. well see me and thomas had this conversation. yes i know i do it to.. but if i say it i mean it, and yea there are diff. kinds of love.. but i only say it when its worth mentioning. i mean dont get me wrong.. i say things i dont mean also.. but this is gettin long so im gunna stop now.
kizzle

Posted at 01:13 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
CLASS OF 2007

THIS ENTRY IS FOR THE SOPHOMORES. NO PROM FOR US. there may be some hope for us yet, but if you guys dont get involved theres none at all. as most of us know from friday nite and how pissed off i was, we have no moneyat all. we shouldve made half of the 75% that homecoming is supposed to get. we made maybe $300 but thats not including what we have to pay for everything. theres the week we are selling candy coming up, so you muther fuckers better buy from us. theres no way we are gunna get n e money if u dont do sumthin about this. im sorry that we couldnt get sumone rich to run for homecoming but if sumone wouldve stepped up we prolly coulda had alot more money than we will get. im tryin as hard as i can to get as much money as i can. if i hear one complaint about how sucky our prom is gunna be.. omg i better not even hear it. i told u guys i would do everything i could to get us alotta money and shit, but look at this. now i know why we didnt make  ne moeny. its your prom. im glad u guys dont care. o well. n e ways.
  my weekend has been pretty good i guess. ups and downs obviously. but yea.. andrew doesnt like me nemore and he hated coming to my house friday. o well. i dont even care. im just sick of tryin to please people i cant. fuck it. i tried to call bailey but she wasnt home. then i realized that she went to church. ill prolly call her again around 2. i havent talked to her in a while and id like to. ive got tons to do today including homework. i just cleaned out the trash. wow it was hard work cuz these fuckin cats keep bustin into it. i was so grossed out by this shit. ill have to tell dad about it though cuz i dont want to talk about it on here. man im so stressed out. i had alot of fun with alex this weekend though. he checked my computer for spyware and it have like 298 things on it. he said thats really bad but it didnt help much. he said i should probably run the defrag thing and put anti-virus stuff back on it. ill porlly do that now. but it goes so slow so ill have to get off. bye
kristi

Posted at 12:41 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, September 05, 2004
Take My Pain and Numb Me from This

hey everyone. today its sunday and tomarrow is labor day so that means no school thank god. im so glad that we got a day of soccer. i hate soccer. but n e ways.. my weekend has been greeeaaatttt. friday i went to candices after school and shouldve taken a nap before i went to the game but i didnt. we went to the game and i was so tired i could barley stand up and it was really frustrating cuz everyone thought i was drunk. i hated it. so i left. finaaly i found russell well he found me.. and got sum money and we went across the street and bought an amp so i would have sum energy. well i got my amp and sumthin else to help, so i came back hyper as ever. there was no stopping me. yea so i was hyper and then i forgot my back pack cuz wedge wanted me to go with him to waffle house and he needed to get there quick so yea we hurried. well its in the band room and ill just have to get it later. but i left with russell and we went to jacobs. it was really fun then we went and goofed off til we went back to his house and slept. then i came home and chilled til gard got me and took me to a motorcycle wash. boring. came home went to stevies. it was alrite. came home with ron and did almost the same thing as the nite before minus the fun stuff. yea hahaa, then i woke up and wedge and sara came over and it was really funny, wedge played my bass. i got to drive his truck with the e-brake on the whole time. fun fun. then got in a fite with brent about his mindless feelings. now im updating my blog and tryin to find sumthing to do tonite. yea thats all i got to say.
kizzle

Posted at 05:06 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
I Saw Angles Fall Down

hey. so im listenin to christian music. it was like one of my all time favorite worship songs. i also went to church today with maddie and bailey and her family. man that area is soooo gray for me. i have no idea what to think in it. n e ways. the lock-in was all rite. it was better than sittin at home. with the right combination of people it could be really really really fun. i still hate school and everything about it. i have to turn in homecoming forms soon and its gunna suck. today i got to talk to lolly. i missed all her hard times. well i was there for one but i dont think that can compare to what happened next for her and her family. i wish i coulda been there for her like she was for me alot of times. all of my friends out there have helped me thru alot. she is so much different than when i left. im sure everyone is. no doubt. theres so much ive missed in everyones life over there. today at church there was this lady who is apparently the new music teacher at robertsville. i got excited about hearing the last place i saw all of my best friends and have alot of memories.. for sumone else to mention it besides me was very exciting. but i still miss everything over there. from what i hear lolly is had a good summer.. wish i coulda been there just for one thing. i didnt go to oak ridge but once this summer. i havent talked to diane or n e one out there in so long. i really miss it. i hope one day i will be able to see everyone again. im out.. ttyl
kizzle

Posted at 04:38 pm by Kizzle4shizzle
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Name: Kristi Acuff

Location: Heiskell (in the middle of no where)

School: PHS

Significant Other: Yea... Rite

Hobbies: Soccer & Snowboarding

Any thing else u wanna know u can find out for urself
Dont forget to leave comments guys.. I love comments!!


   

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"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like

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